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Truth 39. Don’t Explain and Don’t Complain: No-One Wants
Whining
There’s an old saying: “When someone asks what time it is,
they don’t want to be told how the watch was made”. It
sounds obvious put like that. However it’s amazing how many
of us, when asked a question, particularly when we are tense
and on our guard or keen and eager to please, will opt for
describing the watch! This trait is something to avoid,
particularly in a business environment, where people just
want to get things done quickly and efficiently.
Almost nothing annoys people more at work than others
explaining or complaining at length. Both activities
generate ‘antibodies:’ colleagues whose unfavorable opinion
of you can inhibit career progress. People either become
irritated or, worse, don’t trust you.
Maybe you’ve seen the old cop-show Dragnet, where Sergeant
Joe Friday only ever wanted the facts? “Just the facts,
folks.” Any bar association course on preparing witnesses
stresses the same message: “less is more.” If a witness
gives only the key facts, he is seen as believable. But as
soon as he starts explaining the detail behind an answer,
the less authentic he sounds. Anything beyond simple answers
is confusing, or worse, has the look and sound of lying. It
isn’t the content but the length and level of detail that
sounds fishy. It really is just like this in business. So,
whenever you’re explaining something, think of Sergeant
Friday there at your ear, asking you for the facts!
Lengthy complaints work much like lengthy explanations. Both
overload listeners and suck energy from the discussion. All
the extra information detracts from the core message. This
is not only annoying, but also means that you won’t get your
point across. For instance, if you want to complain about
the faulty coffee machine it is far more effective to
quickly and clearly explain the problem, and suggest a
possible solution, then to elaborate at length on the
minutiae of the problem and its effects.
Quick and clean complaints and explanations leave no doubt
about what the issue is. Others are more likely both to
listen, and to understand what needs doing. You may feel
that extra detail paints a clearer picture, but it actually
becomes less clear the more you say, since the listener
cannot take everything in, and has no clear “hook” to grip
onto. You actually lose control of your message.
When responding to a question or making a complaint, only
ever give the information that the other person needs to
know. You can always ask your own question to clarify what
this is. Or you can answer the part of a question that you’d
most like to answer. Ascertaining the nub of the issue or
problem will help you make clear explanations and transform
complaints into constructive observations.
What’s the key message here? Explaining and complaining at
length distort and negate what you’re saying so that people
stop listening. If someone asks you how you made a decision
you can indicate that you considered a number of
alternatives and describe a couple of options but little
detail. They can ask again if they really need to know.
Powerful people don’t complain or explain – they get their
point across swiftly and succinctly. |
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