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Truth 21. Social Talk is Social Grease
Social talk is another word for small talk, or light
conversation. In an office situation, it’s any kind of talk
that is not task-oriented, from pleasantries exchanged on
arrival in the morning, to chat around the coffee machine,
to snippets of conversation exchanged with clients or
colleagues before getting down to business at a meeting.
However, don’t let the words light or small deceive you;
your ability to engage in social talk can have a big impact
on your relationships with others at work.
Social talk serves to grease the moments when you don’t know
what to say to strangers and acquaintances but want to start
conversation or keep one going. It allows us to connect with
others and make them feel at ease. Never imagine when your
mind is on business that social talk is a waste of time. At
the beginning of a business conversation, a bit of chat
about the weather or a current event can ease you into the
conversation, improving the quality of the serious
conversation follows.
There will be moments when social talk is actually the main
purpose of a work event, such as an evening reception, or
sports event. These occasions may include partners or
clients. When that is the case, it can be tempting, and
appear natural, to talk about business issues. Americans
tend to jump into work and money discussions easily.
However, it is not socially acceptable to talk socially
about money, sex, politics or other ‘controversial’ issues
in many countries. If you do so in the UK, for example, you
may just succeed in making your clients uncomfortable.
That’s when being some social talk comes in handy.
How can you be ready to use social talk when you need to?
Preparation! There are two safe themes that you can prepare
in advance: current affairs and personal interests. It’s a
good idea to be skilled in both.
Confidence in current affairs comes from reading everything
you can find, from newspapers and biographies, to catalogs
and cookbooks. Focus on what interests you so that you can
talk about it with enthusiasm. Just reading reviews of TV
programs and books is a great way to have opinions about
topical issues. This puts you in a position to say “I just
heard the most interesting statistics,” or, “I just read the
most fascinating thing,” which leads to a discussion.
Then there’s personal talk, which is about having a list of
questions ready to ask about someone’s occupation, family or
pastimes, and then remembering the answers. (You can touch
people by referring to these in future conversations.) Be
prepared to talk about yourself, with prepared answers ready
for your own questions. If this kind of talk doesn’t come
naturally to you, write these down in advance and memorize
them, practicing on family and friends to ensure that come
out in a non-stilted way. Prepare a thirty to sixty second
“elevator pitch” - a little speech the length of an average
elevator ride – that you can roll out about yourself and
what you do.
There are also many low risk situations where you can
practice outside the company of close acquaintances. The
more intimate the situation, the easier it will be, since
closeness makes people talk more readily. Start talking with
strangers in doctors’ waiting rooms, when waiting in line or
at airports. Ask people about the book or article that
they’re reading.
Social talk is worth preparing and practicing well. The more
you hone and try out what you are going to say, the more
trippingly it will roll off the tongue and the more natural
it will sound. |
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