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Truth 17. Good Networking is About Enjoying the Conversation
In some cultures, networking is a way of life. In Asia, for
example, business cards come out as soon as you meet
someone. You establish who and what you both are and if you
have any connections. That your network of relationships
makes your reputation is openly acknowledged. In Western
cultures, people are more cautious, wary of pushing
ourselves on others, or worried that our “networking” will
come across as obvious. This can make us appear hesitant and
tense unless we are with people we know.
Napier Collyns, co-founder of networking organization Global
Business Network, is an expert on forging connections. He
maintains that the best mindset for networking is, “to be
interested in people and their ideas” and then to,
“self-effacedly connect them with others whom you know." For
Collyns, networking becomes mechanical if it’s just about
self-interest. The trick is to focus on other people’s
needs, putting your own objectives to the back of your mind.
There will be chances to raise these once a relationship is
formed. Concentrate on getting to know the other person,
enjoying their company, and finding out what you can offer
them.
Collyns distinguishes between passive and active networking.
Passive networking happens every time that you talk with
someone. Active networking is about talking with a specific
purpose in mind. The more time that you invest in the
former, getting to know people during everyday events, the
more robust your network gets, and the easier it is to start
active networking. All the conversation positions you to
connect people who can mutually benefit each other. And you
too of course!
Really great networkers network all the time. It’s just part
of who they are to love talking to people and finding out
their stories. That’s the key to passive networking.
Unearthing someone’s background and interests allows you to
identify commonalities, and to start building a history of
shared conversations. If you’re not gregarious by nature,
you’ll still find that if you take a deep breath, dive in
and ask friendly questions nine times out of ten you’ll get
a good conversation going. Most people enjoy talking about
themselves, and will welcome the opportunity to do so.
Once you know something beyond general niceties, it’s much
easier to remember someone. Good active networkers keep a
mental catalogue of people they’ve met, remembering who is
interested in what, who would like to connect with whom, or
who just likes having an interesting conversation. A
business card reference system can help. As soon as you
return from an event, go through any cards acquired, seeing
what you remember about each person. Write handy information
on the backs of the cards while the encounter is still
fresh. That way, next time you meet someone looking, say,
for a consultant to help with a venture in the Middle East,
you may well know who to send her to! Don’t forget to have
cards of your own handy too.
It’s easy to spot networkers who are motivated by pure
self-interest. They will often strike you as phony, even
manipulative. They’re the folks who look past you at the
rest of the room as they shake your hand. Make sure that
others don’t gain that impression of you by being fully
present in every conversation, and by showing others the
interest that they deserve. |
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