Dr. Karen -
The need to balance power, achievement and
relationships is a concept that I can agree
with. As a young woman on the side of continuing
to strive to achieve, I am trying to rely on my
own experiences where it is imperative that I am
able to manage the relationships to gain the
power. It is within this phase of the process
that I find the most challenging. Have you
considered how the Leader Member Exchange Theory
(LMX) might apply? Perhaps it is within a
female’s ability to manage the relationship,
whether it is a higher or lower level
relationship in which she will eventually gain
the power. Depending on her view, the method
used to overcome the potential obstacle (the
relationship) the "iron maiden" may be the
resulting tool used to gain power. I am
interested to find out your perspective.
Thank you for your time and the interesting
discussion topic.
Alicia
Dear
Alicia,
The Leader-Member Exchange(LMX) is very much
about the reciprocal relationship between
leaders and followers. What I find is that
followers have the ability to change the
relationship if they so choose. They can subtly
change the rules. There are different kinds of
power in relationships. Anything can be a kind
of power including rule setting, manipulation
and nagging. I don’t recommend these power tools
often used by subordinates in power. There are
more tools in your power tool kit.
In observing leaders who understand power, they
network heavily not just for reflected power but
also to get and give information. Your network
is the most powerful tool in your toolkit. As in
LMX, you’re becoming part of, even at the
fringe, of the core group in an organization.
(See The Core Group… by Art Kleiner) You do this
through asking opinions and bringing information
to others to discuss. The
organization/department’s inner circle is nice
but not the only way. There are other important
members of the core group, even some staff
figures who have clout like whoever is in charge
of executive staffing and placement.
Iron Maiden is a role to play once in a while
but is NOT a great way to the top except
temporarily. Those who thought Maggie Thatcher
was the iron maiden are not seeing the big
picture. She was “Matron” at a boy’s prep school
in the U K. She told her inner circle and her
public what to do in a very British manner that
they respected until she got out of hand. When a
woman fits into a recognized role it makes
reacting to them easier for their followers. The
old thinking that a woman can be only a “wife,
mother, girlfriend or daughter” is too short a
list. You have to look at the bigger picture in
the organization.
The “iron maiden” doesn’t have enough stretch
for re-inventing yourself. What about resiliency
and grace? That doesn’t mean you have to curry
favor but you need to be kind to everyone. (See
my first book on Managing Your Career). Just
like voting for a president, likeability is
important. You need to pick your iron maiden
moments.
Karen
